Found out.

That's what I've been. Found out.
It's hateful, really. Why, though, do I feel I'm under pressure to be 'nice'?! It's this, y'know, this stupid lack of an ability to just say no. And then you get so misunderstood for things it's funny. And then I want to run away again, from all of it. It's a loop, and I want out!
I'm an escapist and that's all there is to it. A chronic liar, maybe?
When I think about it, I don't care. It's the circumstances I'm in that bother me a little. Messed up, me is.
And horrible and vile and foul and detestable, they say. Me, I say I'm just very selfish. It's not an excuse, it's a fact.
Eventually, do things get better? Is it always going to be this way? :( :(