Judgement's the word.

Must be, at any rate. Seeing as past me is a different person than present me, judgement has been passed.
I cringe at the language/ abbreviations/ whatever 'words' like 'gawd' are, but otherwise am slightly surprised by how little has changed in a decade.

Case in point, the introduction on the profile.
Keywords to my life, Circa 2005 
Sarcasm. Pessimism. Pasta. Douglas Adams. Jimmy Page. Saki. Misanthropy. Ian Anderson. Cheesecake. Fantasy fiction. Icecream on Wednesdays. Robert Plant. Wodehouse. Hugh Jackman. Genuine. FabIndia. Chinese takeout. Scotch-Ginger Ale. Jimi Hendrix. Ipod. Gloss. Rahman. Wild child.

Strike Pasta, make that Bacon. Strike Saki and add in Pratchett and Fry. Strike Cheesecake for Nutella, Icecream on Wednesdays to Wine on (not exclusively) Wednesdays, iPod for the Kindle. And there we have it.

Amazeballs. I haven't grown at all, this is a success.

Almost a decade later, just because I re-read my old post today. 

I'm also slightly amused by how much present me judged past me when I read through all of this. Even the choice of font mildly embarrasses me. Oh well, here goes anyway.

Things done in Red. Similar enough done in Green. And one wishlist item in Blue. 
This is my own: Things I wouldn't be caught dead doing in orange.
Some of these are so very North American, and that entertained me well enough too.


Scores:  86 56 9 4 1 3 very absurd things.

01.Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby’s diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run ('Match'-winning Six runs!)
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered
your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman (this is sexist.)
89. Played Counter-Strike(& AOE & IGI & MOHAA & NFS & HL2) for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. …more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a seizure
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone’s heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being (where am I?!)
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than Indian states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground (Where is this setting, Lala-land?!)
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read his works
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed
them
183. …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

More Fry :)

Funny how hard it is to live in the fear of being found out for the phoney that I am. I'd have thought someone would've mentioned it at some time.

Meanwhile, keeping up with The Liar as in Fry's Meisterwerk gives some comfort, at this evidently being an infirmity not as rare as to not be written about.

And to think I was arrogant enough to think moving continents would assuage the intensity of the malady...

Hibernation, I'd say.

Ha. So I did just pick up and leave, only really telling the people I cared about.

It's been too short a time to say if it's good, but I'll keep an eye on it. I miss S though. A lot.....

Hurrah! Respite at long last in form of girls' night (eve?!) out at our favorite, dearly beloved - TGIF! Happy hours, here we come!!

And I take a minute to say a quick R.I.P. to any other bunch of people that choose to be there this evening. Rather pious, I think.

Have spent the whole day getting pissed off, only respite being Led Zep blaring in my ears.

Spent a half hour fantasizing there is really some bizarre explanation for my mood swings, dementors and the like.

Worse still, have imagined there's logical reasoning behind my decidedly masochistic behavior (wearing 3 1/2" heels and trotting around all day counts in my book).

Have been sorely missing the absence of a book in my bag exactly when I feel so like it. More Stephen Fry, perhaps. Have been having surreal conversations with people all day when it's been one of the more-misanthrophic-than-usual kind of days. Have been surreal as I was drifting in and out of them at will, at least that made it that much more interesting.

Was this one conversation with person that sits next to me at work, where I was pointing out rather pointedly the pointlessness of the entire rut (:D). Didn't listen to half the things he said in reply, and was almost continuing on earlier spiel when realized (just about in time) he was talking about pointlessness of manager. Was v funny.

(And that was my attempt to write in Bridget Jones-like fashion, just to see how it feels to imagine self as un-coordinated hot British chick :D)

Rather a long hiatus, it has been. Being cryptic is the order of the day, so - 'Either I've got a life and they're imaginary; or they've got a life and I'm imaginary'.

Yes, I have been reading Stephen Fry. Again.

I'm overworked and underpaid. And undernourished, according to S. Undergrown, more like.

I must be the only woman around who says 'Are you insane?!' and nearly falls off the chair when a man (that she rather likes) says he's sure he wants to spend his life with her :D And then tells him it's a good sign if she didn't run real hard in the opposite direction! I don't think I'm changing a-while!!

Sometimes I wonder if anyone would even bat an eyelid if I just let everything be and left. I get this feeling people are just waiting to say 'I told you so', even if it's just to each other. That everyone's got this replacement all ready to take over my life, they're just waiting (with bated breath and collective sighs - the works) for me to drop it and take off. Like everything is staged - the silences when I'm in the house alone and doing whatever I feel like, they can't be real!

Even as I type there's a camera that zooms in on what I'm writing and a large bunch of (popcorn-in-large-bowls) folks are sitting in a room and laughing at how retarded I am. And there are guys with walkie-talkies outside this room, reporting my every movement to one another, sniggering all the while. 'Can you believe this? She's blubbering onto the blog, and she thinks it's real! I love my job, when all I do is observe a git like her!'

Maybe I am imaginary.

The law of diminishing marginal feelings!!!!!

Won't they ever sing, ala Jim Morrison, "I've been down so goddamned long, that it seems like up to me!" ? Ever?

Claustrophobia.

Start by listening to this. Pay attention to the lyrics, too. Especially when she says the bit about 'something wrong with every plan of my life'. Just about captures exactly how I feel.

A few months ago, I started off by saying I'd un-dramatize life. Just when I thought I'd gotten to a good start, the bi*&h kicked me in the butt!

Something's gotta get better soon, eh?

My dream, and I know I'm saying this for the gazillionth time, is to become hope-less. And soon.

Dedicated to Highlander :)

So let me start by giving you some context. I'm extremely overworked right now, owing to some folks from the Canadian office being here. I've slept a total of 8 hours in the last 2 days. I've been working for 13 hours at a stretch now, thanks to some suggestions I made on improving a bunch of valuations, which in Cap One means I'd have to implement them!

I resort to my usual feel-better-thanks-to-relative-misery technique and call Highlander up. He listens to me rant and rave, tells me he's still at work too (relative misery in play here, take note) and then tells me to go check out this link and hangs up.

How can this not make me smile, I say? :)

Cheers, mon ami!!!!

S.O.S.!!

Calling Highlander!! Sloppy's getting sloppier (and messier?) by the day, whither art thou?

It's no fun being Sloppy alone, I miss you :(

Give me one reason - Tracy Chapman

I dont want no one to squeeze me - they might take away my life
I just want someone to hold me and rock me through the night

Give me one reason to stay here - and Ill turn right back around
Because I dont want leave you lonely
But you got to make me change my mind

Baby just give me one reason - give me just one reason why I should stay
Because I told you that I loved you
And there aint no more to say

I suffer from occasional flashes of reality getting to me, sometimes the world forgets the fact that I'm trying to be seven years old...

Conditioned to not knowing the difference between right and wrong? I endeavour to simplify, but S says I complicate 'coz I don't really see what I'm doing...

It's abominable how I manage to go right ahead and do the things I didn't want to each time. Over and over again!

I should have been quarantined at birth, I say!!!!

Can I pretend to have amnesia? Please, pretty please!!

So I was sitting with a friend at this place that serves rolls, 'coz I was violently hungry (an event in itself, he was quick to assure me!)... The guy at the counter gives me one half tissue, and since I was glaring expectantly at him, he gave me another couple of squares. And I find myself saying "I'm excessively messy, can I have some more? " And grinning! My friend didn't stop laughing for like...10 mins! ( I needn't mention I got almost half a bag of tissues shoved at me by the chap at the counter :D :D)

So we sit down and (I) eat, and all my predictions of how messy I was going to be were surpassed by far, and I mentioned how I was so glad I got half the box of tissues....And my friend looks at me and goes...."I get this feeling you are very different from the person I knew, say, four-five months ago, a by far improved version 'coz you have, finally, decided to grow down!" And I'm thinking, yea, seven is a rather good number :D

I am rather silly and wide-eyed and child-like in my approach these days :D I like!!!!

The wasted vigil...

"This is among the few things that can be said about love with any confidence. It is small enough to be contained within the heart but, pulled thin, it would drape the entire world."

(In retrospect) Wonder what I was apprehensive about. It was surprisingly easy!

A paean, to say the least...

I love the word 'Naive'...Love the way it sounds, absolutely adore the way it just absolves you from criticism!

I mean....in social situations, if you're being d-uh stupid, in retrospect, you can just go "I was being na-ee-ve wasn't I" and sulk for a bit, and people treat you like it was a virtue! :D

This is brilliant, I think I'm finding more and more ways to shirk adulthood!

So I'm talking to this guy from work, and telling him how I thought the one brilliant bit about adulthood was being able to eat whatever you felt like and call it a meal... Like when you were a kid and you'd want more cookies near mealtimes, adults would always be telling you off and saying cookies would ruin your appetite... And now you can just eat them for dinner, as many as you want, nobody's stopping you! And later you can call your folks and say 'Ma, I ate cookies for dinner' and grin like an idiot when they are annoyed at you! They can't hurt me after I'm done with my cookie meal, can they :D

So anyway, this guy, he looks at me and says 'Yea, but eventually you have to grow up'...And I'm staring at him, I don't know what to say... He's evidently not getting the humor, so I say "This is how grown up I am! I'm not growing up anymore, I'm 24. How old will I be when I realize cookies don't make a meal, they actually screw my appetite? 60? That'll be a lil late for realization, don't you think?" and he looks at me like I'm diseased. Ugh. People, I tell you.

If the bus I had been waiting for hadn't turned up, I swear I'd have done something reasonably evil to him.

Anyway, I just scribbled this post 'coz I had to hallmark this historic day. The birth of the unlikely (unwilling) superhero buddies....Sloppy Sloth and Highlander. Let there be light (drinks and a bite would be better, though!).

...!!!

And now, I shall spend my days wondering if I'd be able to catch another glimpse of him.. If our timings would clash again... If I'd be able to walk into this building and see him first thing everyday....*sigh*!!!! Unbelievable, how asymmetry can just kill you sometimes...lopsided smiles are right on top of that list!! :D
I feel like a darned teen again (which is good, I'd started feeling a little like a grand old maid there :D)
But I don't have a doubt about this: if he ever attempts to talk to me, I shall just faint. (I'll aim at his arms, yes!!! :D)
I think I should stop grinning like a vacant idiot now :D *Grin* Alright, now. *Grin* :D :D
(I've been like that all day...people at work must think I'm finally losing it!!) *Still grinning*

The games people play!! Concen-fricking-tric circles. And the tightest ones are the ones that I draw myself into.