You know the feeling when every day leaves you with the feeling of incapability to deal with life? When, at the end of each day, you can actually feel how futile every single attempt at anything was? When each day leaves you feeling like....like i dunno what....can't even explain it. And think of it....Every single day.... And sometimes, when I think that if I could have relived it, I would do this this way and that the other....I get the feeling it isn't what I do, it is me....

And I keep trying to fool myself into thinking I can better his mood if we meet. I never seem to learn....

:|

I give up. Officially. On the entire race. I can't, for the love of God (or Satan, whoever would be more pleased) figure out how an entire race can survive with the emotional range and variety of a single rabbit... I can't figure out how men would do stupid things for other men, their so-called "friends"...doesn't something called sense come calling somewhere along the way?! I can't get how men can allow their "pals" to talk them into insane, senseless things! Can't. Won't ever. Refuse to even think of getting it. Ever. I can't, for the life of me, fathom how a man can let himself so easily get talked into nonsense. Yea, I have heard of 'brain-washing', but I am sure there would be an iota of truth somewhere in there. But this?!? It is unbelievably dumb.
Correction. The RACE is unbelievably dumb.
And I just gave up...:D

*sighhhhhh*

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

-Neil Gaiman

And the sad part is, it's true....all of it.... It makes horrible people of some of us, makes cowards of others.... But we keep falling in love, us humans.... A weakness that begets more weakness....

speculations....

On a lazy Tuesday, at 10....half an hour into a tortuously boring double lecture...

There are times when I feel inexplicably like Calvin. Like now, when I look at my Prof, who goes on and on droning and all I can think of is a green bug-eyed monster talking, and I can't make out what he's saying due to the absence of a Babel fish anywhere in my vicinity. And hell, by the look of him, I wouldn't want the blessed fish in my ear; I'm sure I'd much rather fantasize that he's spinning some fantabulous tales rather than realize that he's droning on about erodibility and dry things like those (lol....what a paradox....Irrigation and drainage engineering, and its got to be the driest subject by far!!). I feel like a weird mixture of Calvin, Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect. Which, I must say, feels far more toxic than my idea of the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster....

For the ones who found that hard to decode, I recommend (and very strongly at that!) "The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy"....

I hate civilization. I should have been born in the stone age...Life would have been so good... (lol...not really, once u start thinking about life minus a lot of amenities, but hell!!! It is my fantasy, so I shall fantasize ideally!!! ) Imagine the possibilities...For women, it would be the best ever!! All we would have to do is sit around wearing a bare minimum (if anything at all, ie...!!), pat a few cats, cook/roast a few random pieces of meat over a fire (agreed, making the aforesaid would take quite a while, but yet!!!), and, at best, paint a few silly things on the cave walls so they could be found and admired a few dozen millenia later...!! Hmmm...what about gossip, that which seems the very basis of the existence of women, you ask...Ha! Easy one there! We would just sit and grunt at each other, with knowing looks and stuff....wouldn't be too much of a difference from today, we never listen to each other anyway!! lol....
As for men, even easier...all u guys would have to do is go out and hunt for a while! And, yea, not ever have to conform to the concept of coming home to any one particular woman!!
Darn....have i mentioned i hate progress?! And society more so....
*Sighhhhhhhhhh*